I hope that soon I will need to find a new name for my blog. Maybe it can be a happy one. Seems so many times in my life I have been told we just need to do this or have you do that and your life is going to change for the better. Suddenly its like there is a light at the end of a long cave and then right before I get to the bright light there is always this cave in and suddenly I'm back at step one starting over. I am truly hoping this wont be one of those times and that my life will truly change.
The thought of waking up and not hurting something so common for so many is but a fantasy for me. My biggest hope is I will be able to walk again get back out of the wheelchair I have been forced into because of the pain in my back. I have no illusions I do realize I am getting older and everyone has new pains as they get older but my pains are more of someone in their 80's and I'm not that old yet so isn't really fair. Anyway I'm rambling so enough ramble.
I got a letter in the mail yesterday from the insurance company. It said we have received your grievance and we will be looking it over and will give you an answer soon. Now this worries me because supposedly it was the grievance department I spoke with who had me resubmit everything and finally get my surgery approved. Now I'm worried that because this insurance company definitely doesn't share information within departments that this will somehow cause my surgery to be delayed again. If something happens to delay this again I am certain it is gonna send me into an endless spire of depression.
My husband tells me all the time I worry to much and I am certain he is right but now I'm worried that i wont be able to have the surgery and on the other hand I am worried about having it because hospitals terrify me always have. Hugs to all.
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