Faetopia


  On a night filled with darkness a drum of wings could be heard beating faster then one would of thought imaginable. A small cloaked figure sat upon the back of a crimson red dragonfly.  The figure leaning forward as to whisper encouragement to its friend to fly faster.  Time was not on their side.   Soon the moon would pass out of phase and his only chance to undo all the darkness his life had brought would be gone.

   Eshyu  was a member of the dark counsel.  There where a total of Thirteen men who sat upon the counsel and the counsel ruled all that happened within faetopia.  Once faetopia had been a land filled with magic and joy.  There was no darkness that covered the lands until Vorish had been born.  Vorish was the leader of the dark counsel the one who had given power unto the other twelve members and the one who had taken it away from all others.

  Vorish believed that not all where worthy to wield the power of the gods the power of magic.  He had traveled the lands and hand selected his 12 other counsel members.  Eshyu had been the last of the counsel to be recruited by Vorish.  His heart had been bitter in those days all had been stolen from him.  Vorish had promised him riches and power even the power to alter time itself so that his body would not age.  All he had to do was swear an oath to Vorish.  An oath of blood that once made should he ever brake his loyalty to Vorish would banish him for all time from this plane of existence. Vorish had given upon Eshyu the power of visions the ability to see into the future so that he could protect Vorish from any who might betray him.  He had never thought that one day he would be one of the very ones wishing to betray Vorish.

  It was his visions that had brought him to this night.  Visions of what the world should have been of what his life would have been.  At first he couldn't accept how much misery he had helped bring into the world he refused to believe it.  But with the passage of time he realized more and more that what he and the other counsel members where doing was not helping faetopia but would eventually destroy it.

  His one chance was to find a child and gift upon it the power of hope, love, imagination and a sprinkle of magic.  His visions would not show him if his effort would be a success but it was his only chance he knew of to try and brake the bond the counsel held upon the world.  His gifts had to be made at the time of the moon aligning with 12 stars so that the child could be granted the power of light something that hadn't existed in faetopia since the great seal had been placed around the world.  Only the alignment of the moon with 12 stars could brake through the shield and this alignment only occurred once every 100 years.  He had spent years planning for this moment.  Learning the ritual the words that must be spoken and perfecting a spell that would hide the child from Vorish.

  In the distance Ehsyu could see a dim light coming from a small mushroom.  “There my friend lies our destination.” Ehsyu stroked his mounts body as he spoke softly to it.  “ You have been a good friend to me these many years.  It pains me that our paths must now divide but know I shall always be grateful for the day you found me.”

  Ehsyu dismounted  once they where outside the small dwelling.  His friend and mount gently rubbed his head against Ehsyu's shoulder and then flew away with the speed of the wind.  Ehsyu took a deep breath and then walked forward and pushed open the door.

  The dwelling wasn't very fancy was in fact rather poorly.  You could see scattered pieces of laundry about the floor and the small loaf of bread on the shelf was probably the only food in the house.  Toward the back of the house was a small man bending over a bed of rose petals where his wife lay sleeping and held a very small form that was taking its first breaths in this world filled with darkness.

  When Ehsyu entered the man stood quickly and turned with a look of shock upon his face.  “ You shall not take them the dark counsel may not have this child or my wife I swear you will die before I let you touch them.”  Ehsyu sighed deeply and then waved his fingers through the air and the man slowly slid to the ground in sleep.  “ I am sorry dear man but time is not on my side for explanations at the moment.”   Ehsyu walked quickly to the small bed and bent forward to take the squirming bundle into his arms.  Turning with the child firmly in his arms he walked quickly back across the room and out the door into the moonlight.  Looking down for the first time to see the child a smile began to spread across his face and then slowly he began to laugh.  “So a man brings darkness into the world and a woman shall brush it away.”  He carefully placed a gold medallion around her neck and spoke a quick charm that locked it into place so that nobody could remove it.  He then held her up into the moonlight and began to chant an ancient rite.  As he chanted he could feel his body weaken he knew his blood oath was beginning to work against him to try and stop him from betraying Vorish.  With even more determination he forced his arms to hold steady as he continued his chant.  His voice growing louder and it seemed as if even the stars themselves grew brighter for a moment.

  Suddenly all was silent and the infant child lay in her mothers arms again.  Her father began to blink his eyes as he slowly awakened.  All seemed to be alright.  The word Synara seemed to echo through his head.  He softly stroked his daughters head and said you are my daughter Synara and my life I pledge to you as I did to your mother.   He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and slowly drifted back to sleep.

  Far away in the land of  Zanthia Vorish's eyes opened and he began a loud and terrible roar.  He threw chairs across the room and called for his counsel to be called.  Vorish's fury was plain for anyone to see.  None wished to cross his path and the counsel was assembled in very short order.  Vorish stood before them and said “Ehsyu has betrayed me and been banished into the void.”  Gasps of shock could be heard from the other counsel members.  “I can not determine in what way he has betrayed me.  It is hidden to me.  Nothing should have the power to be hidden from me.  You my counsel will find out in what way he has betrayed me or I shall promise you worse then banishment to the void for all time.”  Vorish turned quickly his black cloak swirling around him and walked from the room.

Countdown

Its 3 hours until time to go to the hospital.  That is if they don't call me and cancel it again.  I wish I could sleep but my nerves are pretty much keeping me up and my head is killing me from a stress.  I really hope that after the surgery and I wake up in a lot of pain that I can convince myself this has all been worth it.

I have learned a few things though.  If your insurance company ever gives you the run around threatened to file a civil rights case against them.  It apparently puts them in high gear to fix things.  After I threatened to do that with my insurance company was only a few hours later I got a call from their grievance consultant who told me a new way to handle things and then the letter I got from them was very much different then the first one that turned me down.

Just my luck I'm having a lovely allergy attack and can't take any medicine for it cause it's to close to my surgery time.  Leave it to me to always do things the hard way.  lol

Well just wanted to post a quick note saying I'm on my way and hopeing that it does make things better and not worse.  Hugs to all.

Daja Vu

It would seem I am back in the same place I was in my first blog.  Once again I should be in the hospital right now.  My surgery was scheduled for 12:30 today.  My husband and daughter took off work.  Everyone was ready to support and help me and boom an hour before surgery I get a call saying I'm being rescheduled for next week.

Interestingly enough while I was writing this I got a call from the Dr and they want to do the surgery tomorrow.  Normally my Dr doesn't do surgery on any day but Wednesday so that makes me a special case.  Sort of a work between her normal day office hours tomorrow.  I have spent the past 2 hours crying and I'm already drained and now I just don't know how to feel.

I really need for all this to be over with the stress is gonna kill me I swear.  Things changing day by day.  I'm just exhausted.  Hugs to everyone.

A New Hope

  I hope that soon I will need to find a new name for my blog.  Maybe it can be a happy one.  Seems so many times in my life I have been told we just need to do this or have you do that and your life is going to change for the better.  Suddenly its like there is a light at the end of a long cave and then right before I get to the bright light there is always this cave in and suddenly I'm back at step one starting over.  I am truly hoping this wont be one of those times and that my life will truly change.

  The thought of waking up and not hurting something so common for so many is but a fantasy for me. My biggest hope is I will be able to walk again get back out of the wheelchair I have been forced into because of the pain in my back.  I have no illusions I do realize I am getting older and everyone has new pains as they get older but my pains are more of someone in their 80's and I'm not that old yet so isn't really fair.  Anyway I'm rambling so enough ramble.

 I got a letter in the mail yesterday from the insurance company.  It said we have received your grievance and we will be looking it over and will give you an answer soon.  Now this worries me because supposedly it was the grievance department I spoke with who had me resubmit everything and finally get my surgery approved.  Now I'm worried that because this insurance company definitely doesn't share information within departments that this will somehow cause my surgery to be delayed again.  If something happens to delay this again I am certain it is gonna send me into an endless spire of depression.

  My husband tells me all the time I worry to much and I am certain he is right but now I'm worried that i wont be able to have the surgery and on the other hand I am worried about having it because hospitals terrify me always have. Hugs to all.

Miracles Can Happen

  I got word just a few min ago my insurance company has finally approved my surgery.  I'm still in a bit of a daze because I have been fighting this so long.  Is it because I threatened a civil rites suit against them?  Is it because I threatened to contact the insurance fraud department?  Did I finally just talk to the right person at the company who can makes things happen?

  I guess I will never know the reason after all this time I managed to get it approved in a little over 12 hours but I can hardly complain.  So on the 18th this nightmare from the past year will finally be over.  Well hopefully over anyway.

  Seems my next hurdle is that it is approved but they want a 6000 dollar deductible by the 18th.  That may be a bit hard to raise but at least it is no longer no.  So funny I have fought so hard to get into the hospital but truth is I hate hospitals they terrify me.  Suppose I have watched way to many horror movies in my life time.

  I'm sure I'll have more to say later but as I said right now I'm just sort of amazed but wanted to share with those who have worried about me that I finally won my fight. Thank you for everyone who has wished me well and kept me encouraged during this.  Hugs to all.

Back and Forth.

  I have spent several days on the phone all day talking to one person then the next.  Its hard to believe just how much run around one company can give you.  I swear every single person I have talked to has given me a different story.

  I really wish I had done more research before we had picked this insurance company.  As I research it now all I can find is one bad review after the next.

  Today I finally had enough and I demanded to talk to their hipaa/privacy officer.  They of course refused to allow me to do so.  I reminded them that it is federal law and I have a rite to talk to this person and if they didn't let me then I was going to be filing a civil rights suit against them.  I was put on hold and then told that my complaint had been sent to their grievance department and they would contact me.  Funny enough the really nice lady I had been talking to seemed to suddenly not be so nice anymore.  I think It may be possible I have now been labeled a trouble maker in my file with them.

  The insurance company kept swearing to me today that a peer to peer between my Dr and theirs was already scheduled on a day and time.  When I demanded to know the day and time they told me they weren't allowed to tell me that information.

  I called my Dr and talked to the lady who has been helping me there who got rather upset over the fact they where swearing a date and time was set up when they hadn't allowed her to set one up when she keeps trying.

  I believe she called my insurance company herself after that and shortly after the grievance department called me.  Left voice mail for me to call them so I did.  Funny it went straight to a person no computer with annoying menu's to enter a ton of information on like they always made me do.  Anyway long story short I was told the fastest way to handle this situation was for me to resubmit all the information one more time and that it would be handed to a different Dr to approve or deny me.

  I asked if this wouldn't just lead to another peer to peer that we can not ever seem to be able to set up.  She assured me it wouldn't and that i should have an answer within a week.  So here I go again waiting for another week praying they wont let me die.

  I really dislike this insurance company and I hate the law that required me to have to pay them every month when they cover nothing.  Sorry for the short vent.  Hope every one is doing well.  Hugs to all.

Waiting

  When your a teenager I'm sure everyone can remember the time when you would be sitting by the phone going crazy chanting ring ring ring.  All because someone told you I will give you a call tomorrow.  You in all your anxiety every time the phone would ring would be filled with both hope and anxiety and yet scared at the same time.  On one hand oh my this is it they finally called.  On the other hand oh no this it they called what if they are going going to say what I want to hear or I say something wrong.

  Here I am waiting by the phone but not because I'm hoping for a date, well maybe I am, but more because I am waiting on news if proving I wasn't pregnant is enough to get my insurance company to finally allow me to have surgery.  I had been told I should hear something by Monday so of course I was on edge all day yesterday and when 5 came and I knew the Dr was closed I just wanted to cry.  Today I seem to be doing the same thing.  Sitting by the phone getting my hopes up when the phone rings to have it be a family member and i cant help the disappointment in my voice then of course they are like sorry I called.  I have to apologize and assure them no its not you its me I'm just crazy today. I am so sorry.

  I suppose in a way this is all kind of funny.  I'm acting like a kid waiting for the boy of my dreams to call when in reality I'm waiting on a woman to call me and say yes we can finally save your life.

  My husband tells me he can always tell how well I am doing by how much I joke and laugh.  The sad truth is I'm not real sure how long I can keep finding the funny side in everything.  I'm tired of being told no.  I'm tired of hurting.  I'm tired of the exhaustion those goes along with only have a 7 hemoglobin level.  I really need something amazing in my life to help me find laughter again.  Hugs to all.